Can we talk about this?

I think the hardest post I had ever written was about this little thing called "race".

Sense then, I don't think I've written much about it.

But being in Mission Year, I have thought LOTS about it and we've talked a lot about it. Because one of the topics that we talk about the most is racial reconciliation, especially within the church.

It is the topic that frustrates me the most. It's hard to talk about it, because, I feel like, most of my white friends don't ever have to think about racism. And, it's hard, because... most of the friends that I made in art school and at Wild Goose happen to be white.

I'm writing this, because, I want to know if it's okay to talk about it. I just want to know. And if it makes you uncomfortable, that's okay, because I'm uncomfortable and unsure right now... Can we talk about this?

 I'm scared to talk about it, because I think about all the instances where race has been brought up, and ALL these defenses are made. These defenses that sound like "why can't they just get over it. We live in the 21st century for pete's sake! why do we have to talk about race?". I don't like to bring it up, because there is so much resistance, so much resistance to caring and to being informed and to have honest conversations. And so, it becomes like a huge mess of vulnerability turned into nothing. It feels a lot like having your pearls thrown to pigs.

I'm writing this because I want to talk about it. Can we talk about this?

I want to talk about the neighborhood I live in Philly and how there are so many people who look different from me. In Philadelphia  I live in a diverse neighborhood. Puerto-Ricans, Italians, Black Americans, immigrants from Africa and Chactaw Native Americans all live on my block, and it's weird to think that a lot of my friends haven't lived in places where they've experienced that much diversity or in a neighborhood where they've been the minority.

I want to talk about how, being a multi-ethnic person, I feel a little more at home there than I did at Wild Goose festival or in art school.

 I don't know.... I don't know where this is going. But, I am just burdened by the fact that... I feel like, so many of my closest friends never have to worry about what I worry about, because we live in a society where "white is the norm". I don't have any answers, and I'm not writing this to point fingers or anything. I just really wanted to share how I feel, and the discomfort I have felt for a long time.

Can we talk about this?

Grace and peace to you,

Rachel Virginia