Can we talk about this?

I think the hardest post I had ever written was about this little thing called "race".

Sense then, I don't think I've written much about it.

But being in Mission Year, I have thought LOTS about it and we've talked a lot about it. Because one of the topics that we talk about the most is racial reconciliation, especially within the church.

It is the topic that frustrates me the most. It's hard to talk about it, because, I feel like, most of my white friends don't ever have to think about racism. And, it's hard, because... most of the friends that I made in art school and at Wild Goose happen to be white.

I'm writing this, because, I want to know if it's okay to talk about it. I just want to know. And if it makes you uncomfortable, that's okay, because I'm uncomfortable and unsure right now... Can we talk about this?

 I'm scared to talk about it, because I think about all the instances where race has been brought up, and ALL these defenses are made. These defenses that sound like "why can't they just get over it. We live in the 21st century for pete's sake! why do we have to talk about race?". I don't like to bring it up, because there is so much resistance, so much resistance to caring and to being informed and to have honest conversations. And so, it becomes like a huge mess of vulnerability turned into nothing. It feels a lot like having your pearls thrown to pigs.

I'm writing this because I want to talk about it. Can we talk about this?

I want to talk about the neighborhood I live in Philly and how there are so many people who look different from me. In Philadelphia  I live in a diverse neighborhood. Puerto-Ricans, Italians, Black Americans, immigrants from Africa and Chactaw Native Americans all live on my block, and it's weird to think that a lot of my friends haven't lived in places where they've experienced that much diversity or in a neighborhood where they've been the minority.

I want to talk about how, being a multi-ethnic person, I feel a little more at home there than I did at Wild Goose festival or in art school.

 I don't know.... I don't know where this is going. But, I am just burdened by the fact that... I feel like, so many of my closest friends never have to worry about what I worry about, because we live in a society where "white is the norm". I don't have any answers, and I'm not writing this to point fingers or anything. I just really wanted to share how I feel, and the discomfort I have felt for a long time.

Can we talk about this?

Grace and peace to you,

Rachel Virginia

A Year in Photos

It's a few days until the new year. 2013. Just a few days ago, I was reunited with my camera, of which had been broken and had sat in a repair shop for several months during my time in Philadelphia for Mission Year.

Sense I've gotten my camera, I've been somewhat in loss for what I want to do with photo. I think, even more so, it was when I went to art school that I experienced more of a sense of confusion.

I'm in Durham right now for winter break. I have not had much of the opportunity while I'm in Durham to photo-shoot others due to my lack of relationships and time here, but, at the same time, I do wish to take more photos and experiment.

I'm drawn into the idea of doing a 365 this year. A 365 is when you take a portrait of yourself or something related to your life everyday for a year. I know that last year, or maybe it was back in 2011, I had the idea of doing one, but didn't follow through. I'm hoping that this year, I will be able to. One can try at least. So, I won't be starting today officially, but, I will be prepping and then beginning on the night of the new year. I want this to be an opportunity for me to explore the world of photo again. I want it to be an experience that stretches me, like an exercise -- there will be days that I'm not in the mood to do it, but, I will push through. I'm excited about this, and so excited to have my camera back.

I hope that you will enjoy the 365 that I'm about to endeavor in, as well as the other adventures I hope to be sharing through my photos this year, especially as I go back to 7 more months of Mission Year!

Grace and Peace to you,

~Rachel

P.S. I will not be posting the photos everyday unto this blog, because on this blog, I want to focus primarily on my Mission Year adventure and reflections! I will probably feature other photos as well here. But, to get the most of my 365, you will want to visit my Flicker page every once in a while! 

Hope and Advent

Myself, Kristen and Mary respectively.

Here is all us who volunteer at Esperanza Health Center! WUT WUT. :) 
From left to right is me, Kristen and Mary. They are wonderful and kind ladies, and they have such heartwarming and kind presenceses. I don’t live with them, but, it’s really neat to be able to share some of the Esperanza experience with these ladies. It’s nice.

Kristen and Mary work often at the other sites, so, I do not get to see them that often. Kristen works as a cook and server at the cafe at the Hunting Park location, and Mary is a volunteer medical assistant, working in between the three sites, but mostly at location near Alleghany and 5th Street. And, as I had mentioned before, I help out with the clerical assistants, making it the first reason that I (who currently smells of compost) has ever had to dress in "business casual" clothing so far.

Esperanza is the Spanish word for Hope, which is kind of funny, because, hope is what I find the season of Advent to be about. In this picture, we're standing outside of a buidling called Project Home, which is another one of the service sites that our Mission Year peers volunteers at, which works to develop solutions to homeless and poverty here in Philadelphia. We became a part of a seminar there called Peace on Earth and the Politics of Christmas hosted by a man called Will O' Brien who is part of a conspiring group called The Alternative Seminary.. I was pretty excited to go to this "class/seminar" thing, in which we basically talked about and compared the gospels of Luke and Matthew and dived into what the writers were moved to share about Jesus's arrival on Earth.

O' Brien wanted to share this seminar with us because of his desire to discover what it would mean to have a more meaningful Christmas, one that isn't reduced to consumerism and busy-ness, as well as a more meaningful season of Advent, a season in which we prepare for the coming of King Jesus on earth, a season in which we remember the brokenness of the world and remember that there is hope in His grace and His Way.

I will not get into the full details of what O' Brien talked about, but, I think that overall, most of my Mission Year peers, as well as myself, were challenged into being more thoughtful about significance of Christ's birth, keeping in mind the manner in which he humbly was born into poverty, to obscure parents, and the period of hostility that he was born into. Looking at Jesus, and the world that he chose to be born into, what does that mean for us, who want to follow the way of Jesus? What does that mean Christmas should look like to us? And what does Jesus' birth have to do with the rest of his whole life? There are many questions to ask in regards to what Christmas should mean to us, and those are questions I am asking myself this Advent.

For me, Christmas is a time to remember whose alliegence I want my heart, mind, body and soul to align myself with. Do I want to align myself with the loving, peaceful and life-affirming way of Christ, the Prince of Peace? Or do I want to align myself with the violent, chaotic and nihilistic ways of Herod... of Ceasar... of those who rule with darkness? For me, Christmas time is a reminder that there is hope in the revelation of Christ and His Kingdom, that the whole world can be redeemed and made new. Advent, and it's final arrival unto Christmas is when I can remember that the Light of the world chose to be with us human beings, all of us who are poor and lonely. Out of his compassion, he chose to be in solidarity with our poorness and loneliness when he was born.

I hope that this time of year will be one that you can meditate on what it means for Jesus to be born into the world, and what that means for your life and for your spiritual journey, as well as the lives of those around you. You can check out a group called Advent Conspiracy for ideas if you wish. 

If you want to get a general idea of what O' Brien talks about each year, you can listen to this video uploaded by The Simple Way, one of the co-conspirators of Mission Year and the Alternative Seminary.

Peace be with you,
Love,
Rachel

You and me.

No one but God knows how long I struggled, how I turned to Him, and turned from Him, again and again. I, too, felt that distaste. I, too, felt that religion had a morbid quality.

Dorothy Day

I think that if I was in love with someone, that I would want them to at least stay and be honest with me. And so, I believe that G-d loves like that. He can handle it. I still want You with me, with us.